英语幽默

来源:  作者:zzy  录入:zzy  发布时间:2012-2-25 0:00:00  浏览次数:957
Hens Legs

Son: Why are hens legs so short?
Dad: Youre a fool. If the hens legs were too long, wouldnt they drop their eggs into pieces when laying?

母鸡的腿
儿子:为什么母鸡的腿这么短呢?
父亲:你真笨。如果母鸡的腿太长,它们下蛋的时候,鸡蛋岂不都摔碎了?

A Girls Wish

On the way home after watching a ballet performance, the kindergarten teacher asked her students what they thought of it. The smallest girl in the class said she wished the dancers were taller so that they would not have to stand on their toes all the time.

小女孩的愿望
在观看完芭蕾舞表演回家的路上,幼儿园老师问学生的观后感。班上最小的女孩说,她希望舞蹈演员可以长得更高一点儿,那么他们就不用整天踮着脚尖了。


An Advertisement for Modern Bicycle

Tom saw an advertisement in a newspaper for a beautiful modern bicycle which cost £50, so he went to the shop to have a look.
After examining the bicycle carefully, Tom turned to the shopkeeper and said, "There isnt a lamp on this bicycle, but there was one on the bicycle in your advertisement." "Yes, sir," answered the shopkeeper, "but the lamp isnt included in the price of the bicycle. Its an extra."
"Not included in the price of bicycle?" Tom said angrily, "But thats not honest. If the lamps in the advertisement, it should have been included in the price you gave there."
"Well, sir," answered the shopkeeper calmly, "there is also a girl on the bicycle in our advertisement, shall we supply one for you too?"

摩登自行车广告
  汤姆在报纸上看到一辆很漂亮的摩登自行车的广告,标价50英镑,于是他到商店去看一看。
  汤姆很仔细地看完那辆自行车后,转过身对店主说:“这辆自行车少了一盏灯,但在广告上的自行车是有的。”“是的,先生,”店主回答说,“但那盏灯不包括在自行车的价格里面,是另外收费的。”
  “不包括在自行车价格里面?”汤姆很生气,“但这是不诚实的。如果灯在广告上,它就应该包括在你所标出的价格之内。”
  “嗯,先生,”店主冷静地回答:“在我们的自行车广告上还有一个女孩,难道我们也要为您提供一个吗?”


A New Employee
Several weeks after a young man had been hired, he was called into the personnel directors office.
"What is the meaning of this?" the director asked. "When you applied for the job, you told us you had five years experience. Now we discover this is the first job you ever held."
"Well," the young man said, "in your advertisement you said you wanted somebody with imagination."

新员工
  一个年轻人在被雇用几个星期后,被叫到人事经理的办公室。
  “这是什么意思?”经理问,“当你申请这份工作时,你告诉我们有五年工作经验,现在我们发现这其实是你的第一份工作。”
  “嗯,”年轻人回答,“你们的广告上说需要找一个有想象力的人嘛。”